Peeta and Katniss
by GingerHeit
Summary: One-shot. Takes place at the end of Mockingjay before the epilogue. Peeta, try as he may, can't get through to Katniss. The war especially took its toll on her. She's more confused than Peeta is-and one day, she snaps. Will he succeed in getting through to her, or will she just distance him further?


A/N: Hello to everyone who was curious enough to come read my story (despite the summary.) Just so you're all aware, this is my first Fanfiction that I've posted so take it easy on me! ;) Anyways, I hope to write more if this test goes well. Also, I wrote this awhile back in 7th grade. I cleaned it up a bit, but of course I'm sure there's still errors. Constructive criticism is much appreciated. Read and leave a review so I know what you think!

Disclaimer: Much to my chagrin, I do not own Suzanne Collins's amazing series "The Hunger Games."

Peeta's POV

"_I practically live with Katniss now, ever since I got her those primrose bushes. And I know I shouldn't complain. But I can't help but notice: she is different. Obviously, everything has taken its toll on her. What with The Hunger Games and the war that she lost, not only a little sister to, but a mother and a best friend (slash possible lover) to as well. But it's like a tug-of-war that's going on in Katniss' mind over what to do with me."  
_

_What to do with me_. The words echo in my mind. I have read and re-read that entry in my book not knowing what else to put. I want to remember everything. Good and bad. I want to know what's real and not real. But how can I with Katniss like this? She can't tell me a simple answer. It's always "Maybe…" or "I guess…" with her. And that's on her good days. Most of the time she gives me the silent treatment.

I usually bake to sort out my troubles; it calms me. So I bake Katniss her favorite cheesy bread. Two birds, one stone. She was watching me and was totally silent the whole time. Her eyebrow was raised like she was trying to figure an extremely complex equation out.

After awhile, I had almost forgotten she was there. Due to being too caught up in thinking about what I had written, I guess. Then out of the blue, she came up behind me and started kissing up my neck, my cheeks. When I turned around our lips met and it was like these past years never happened. The bombing of 12, being tortured, everyone we loved gone. All of it was wiped from our minds. Everything was perfect.

But then, after about 4 minutes of this, Katniss opened her eyes to see me and looked confused. She pulled away from me and ran upstairs to her room with tears already streaming down her face. Then it was my turn to be confused. All these questions started pouring into my head. _Did she imagine I was Gale and opened her eyes to me instead? Was she disappointed? In me or herself? Was she just lonely or desperate? Was she testing me and I failed miserably? Did I pass and that scared her? _

Then, snapping me out of it, I heard a loud shattering and some kind of choked sounds. _What's going on_? I thought frantically as I was running up the stairs, taking four steps at a time. The artificial leg gave me an extra spring in my step, all thanks to Beetee who tweaked it all those months (_or was it years?_) ago.

I found her bedroom door was locked and I could hear her through the door, sobbing and something was shattering everywhere. Due to her throwing it, I was sure. I heard Katniss talking to herself, more like cursing herself out, and saying how she couldn't lose me, in between sobs, and how it was wrong to keep me hanging. The crying and sobbing kept getting worse. She stopped throwing stuff, at least.

I kicked down the door and I found her curled in the fetal position on the ground by her bed, tears gushing down her face, with shards of glass everywhere around her. It was her full length mirror from her closet was what she had thrown.

_I'm just glad she isn't cut, _I remember thinking. _From what I can see, at least... _

"Are you alright, Katniss?" For all the attention she gave me I wasn't even there. "You've always had a tendency to break things when you're upset." I mused, picking her up and setting her on the bed after she ignored my extended hand to help her up.

I sat down next to her. And still there was no answer. "Katniss...?" Nothing. Tears were still dripping down her face but now she's not full out sobbing. I wouldn't kiss her if I could help it because, considering it was Katniss that'd make it worse. But friends can hug, right? I pulled her onto my lap and wrapped my arms around her. She eventually leaned in. _Finally a response! _I thought as I listened to her hiccupping into my shirt.

_She's so cute_, I remember thinking, _but it breaks my heart at the same time. _  
We sat there for hours just holding each other. After awhile she stopped hiccupping. So I took that as a sign and kissed the top of her head to see what would happen. There was no response. "Want to tell me what's wrong?" I ask her quietly. Nothing. Nada. Zip.

After awhile I tried again. "Want me to get Haymitch to translate for me? You two always seemed more in tune with each other..." I tease knowing Haymitch is probably passed out on the floor with vomit and geese crap all over him. _Oh, Haymitch..._

I went on even though she gave no response. "It'll take a couple buckets of iced water to wake him up, but—"

"At the rate he's been drinking lately tells me you'll need a..." Katniss' voice gets softer as she goes on and I couldn't hear the last part.  
But it was something so I played along.

"Good point." I said smiling a little.

She finally looked up at me and hesitantly asked, "Peeta?"

"Hmm?" I looked down at her. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it quickly and then dropped her gaze from mine. I tilted her chin up just as a tear slid down her face. I kissed the tear away even though she wouldn't allow her eyes to meet mine.

But after I kissed another tear away she did. _Ah... Her eyes... _I remember thinking_. _So hard to match with my paint when I'm 're so beautiful; they took me a whole week to try to figure out the color. When I did figure out the exact colors, I started dancing around the house in my underwear and sunglasses. I was _that _happy. My brothers and I would goof around and do that as kids, so maybe I was feeling a _bit _nostalgic that day as well.

Then Katniss walked in and, although I was embarrassed, I invited her to come dance in her underwear and sunglasses too. Which is pretty gracious of me if you think about it, considering it was a personal moment and all, but still, she refused. _Anyway..._ I thought snapping back into the moment. Such a hard, yet beautiful color to match. Even though she insists everyone in the Seam had this look about their eyes, I know hers are different.

"Peeta?" she tried again.

"Yes?" I answered her.

"I... I don't know if I can love you... I don't know if I could possibly... be capable of that... after... after..." she couldn't stop hiccupping so she leaned her head on my chest.

I didn't say anything as I rocked her back and forth, trying to soothe her because I knew I shouldn't say more than that since, being Katniss, she'll want to get it _all _off her chest. "Everyone… and I mean, _everyone_… I've loved… or-or… tried to love… ends up getting taken away… or… or… _killed_," she continued. I stop rocking her. She seemed like she was breaking apart at the seams. My grip automatically tightened trying to keep her together. "And I can't… I can't… I _WON'T _lose you again!" her voice was edging on hysteria. I could feel her tears soaking into my shirt.

"Shh... Katniss… Katniss, sweetheart, listen to me," There was no response from her except for her sobbing. "Please?" I asked. Her attempts to stop sobbing were painful to watch. But eventually she was able to bring it down a level or two. I decided to speak once it was only tears falling down her cheeks.

"Katniss…" I said, "No one will take anything—or anyone—else away from you. No one will kill anyone else you love. Those people who did that—those times—they were destroyed with the Hunger Games. Never to come back," I kissed away another tear. "Never again, Katniss."

Katniss still looked doubtful. "Peeta..." she started, "I… I love you more than anything."

_My heart has just been melted, real or not real? Real._ I thought as my hearts pace quickened. _But why do I feel there's a _but _coming on?_

"But..." _I knew it... _I thought to myself, "I can't possibly bear to hurt you anymore. Everyday, I hurt you. Don't even deny it; I see it in your eyes. I swear I don't ever mean to but—" she tries to go on but I can't help it. I leaned in to kiss her. She pulled away saying she's hurt me enough, etcetera, etcetera. But I leaned in and kissed her again and she didn't object this time.

"Katniss…" I breathed after a while of kissing. She looked at me expectantly. "You don't—you aren't—hurting me. How can you? I love you more than anything and nothing will EVER change that." I paused and smiled a bit. "I mean... I'll be first to admit it's pretty disappointing when you don't dance in your underwear and sunglasses with me... but that's the most disappointing it's ever gotten. Honest."

I smile at the memory of her shocked face when she walked in on me. She looked at me and she even laughed a breathy laugh. "How often do you do that anyways?" she asked, previous events seemingly forgotten.

"What? Dance in my underwear? Join me and I'll tell you!" I said, standing up to remove my shirt and pants. I left myself only in my boxers and then stroked a pose like Finnick would. She giggled and covered her eyes, pretending to be blinded.

But soon after her laughing died down, she got serious and brought her hands down from her face. She hesitated, staring a my bare chest for a bit then she stood up next to me and lifted up her arms strait into the air.

"A little help would be nice," Katniss said in the old Capitol accent. I cocked my eyebrow and she laughed. I noted that her laugh sounded a little off. But when I stared into her eyes I realized—

She's serious. I hesitated. _Is she really serious?_ I gave my head a slight shake. _Yes, she is_.

Realizing this, I slowly slid her shirt up over her head. It took me awhile until I realized my mouth was open. "Um... Katniss...?" I breathed.

She pressed her body up against mine and, in a seductive voice that put Finnick's old one to shame, she said my name. "Peeta." Not Gale, but Peeta.  
And with that, she started to kiss me like she never had before. So much better than that time in the cave or on the beach in the arenas. I was hardly aware that I groaned in the back of my throat. It was as if fire was being kindled from deep inside of us. I kept getting warmer every second our lips stayed together, as we went on holding each other.

She pecked me once again on the lips and moved down my neck. Katniss teased in between kisses, "Hm... I seem to have misplaced my sunglasses. _And _my underwear, for that matter. Have you any idea where they could possibly be?"

"Psh. Underwear is so overrated. Even if you do find them, you aren't allowed to put them back on." I teased back while pulling her back on the bed with me, kissing hungrily along her jaw.

"Have you gone blind?" she asked in a seemingly joking voice, yet I detected her self-consciousness. "Stupid bombs left my skin looking..." she trailed off as she surveyed her body. I could see the tears welling up in her eyes again.

"Katniss..." I said looking into her eyes, "I have _one _leg. We're both scarred. But even after all that, when I'm with you... I really _don't _care. But… do you?" In answer, her tears vanished and she kissed me with such intensity that we could set the world on fire. Of course, we'd had plenty of fire to deal with already. But this... this was a whole different degree.


End file.
